Tag: new year

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hello 2025…

After all the ‘growth opportunities’ that 2024 presented, I’m going into the new year feeling determined! Obviously, its early days and my resolve may waver along the way, but I’m going to record some areas of focus to help me stay on track.

In the words of George Eliot “It is never too late to be what you might have been,” So this is less a list of ‘new me’ things and more of a list of ‘things I want to keep/start doing because they feel like they move me nearer to what I’d like to be’…

Things that I plan to continue in 2025:

  • Walking every day – it’s easy to miss a day without a dog in the house, but walking makes me feel good so I’ll embrace a bit of pavement-pounding if that’s what it takes, in between longer hikes whenever I can take them. Most work-days I can find a reason to walk into/around Cranbrook – current favourites included: to buy a coffee, to take a photograph, I need chocolate…motivation can come in many forms and who am I to judge?!
  • walk 1000 miles – such a great initiative to get people walking more often. I’m just starting my 7th year of the challenge, which is free to join, fun to be part of and can be a helpful way to stay on track. I set myself a couple of monthly personal goals to go alongside this – I aim to walk at least 100 miles each month, including a ‘double-digit’ walk every week, and a monthly circuit of a particular route (last year was Bewl Water; I’m thinking this year might be the Cranbrook-Goudhurst circular route but Bewl is further so I may stick with that!)
  • Educating squirrels! I have a separate feeding station in my garden, just for the squirrels, and sometimes they forget that the pay-off is that they have to leave the bird-feeders alone…so I will continue to remind them at every opportunity.
  • 365 picture today is a daily photography project and I have been doing it in some form or another since January 2016! It’s not about taking brilliant pictures – although hopefully some of them turn out ok – but it is a great way to take a pause in my day & document life as it happens. I love scrolling back over the years and remembering moments that I recorded along the way. More often than not my photos are taken with my phone, although I’m currently trying to use my big-girl camera more (see below)

Things I’d like to do/do more of in 2025:

  • I recently started drinking coffee again – I used to drink A LOT of coffee but it started to make me feel bad a few years ago, but now it feels ok again so I’m cautiously enjoying the odd cup here and there, & I’ve bought a flask so I can take it walking with me too
  • Scary things! We each have our own version of scary, but this year I am hoping mine will include some new mountains as part of a charity fund-raiser, some wild-camping & a bit of faith-exploration…
  • Cycling! Until a few weeks ago I hadn’t ridden a bike for many years, but since the dog died I have been trying to find things to do that I couldn’t easily do when he was here, and as part of that I had my bike serviced (here) and have taken a few tentative rides around the local forest. I hope to get braver as the year goes on, trying out the scary bike trails and travelling further on two wheels. It’s definitely a work in progress!!
  • Camping weekends – last minute, unplanned escapes with my roof tent, firepits, new places, no/lukewarm showers, composting toilets – all of it!
  • Manage my ‘to-be-read’ pile…I swing from one extreme to the other – not buying any new books until I’ve read all the tbr books, and buying ALL the books so that I have them ready when I need them! I suspect there is a middle ground somewhere so I’m going to look for it this year!
  • Walking as part of my business. Having qualified as a Lowland Walk Leader I will be finding all the ways possible to include walking as a way to earn an income. I can’t wait to get started…
  • Getting back to teaching more in-person classes. I have loved teaching online for the past 4 years, and will keep some online classes but I am also really excited by the thought of being in the room more too! I’ll share more soon…
  • Saying ‘yes’
  • 52 Frames is a weekly photography project which I used to do and have just signed up to again this year. I started it in 2015 and completed that year & 2016. I took a break in 2017 & signed up again in 2018, getting to week 39 before life got in the way. When I signed up last week I thought I had only missed a couple of years – how time flies?! I had no plans to start doing the project again but weirdly it feels like a good time to jump back in and I am excited to see where it will take me. This group is full of INCREDIBLE photographers from all around the world so it can be a daunting space, but it’s also a great community and a really good reminder to focus on what you can do without comparing yourself to anyone else. The first prompt of the year is always ‘self-portrait’ and here is my submission!!

Things I’s like to stop doing/do less of in 2025:

  • speaking badly to myself
  • doubting myself
  • apologising for taking up space
  • waiting for validation from other people
  • being overly self-reliant
  • wasting time – as in, ONE LIFE, LIVE IT!

So that’s me for 2025 – how about you?!

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Thank you 2024…

Before I rush into the new year I wanted to record some thoughts about 2024.

In the Summer of 2023 I spent a week walking in the Peak District. It rained. A lot! Giving myself a day off wet-walking, I caught the train to Sheffield and came across a pop-up art gallery featuring work by print-maker James Green who has been creating random donkey prints for many years… In February 2024, I saw that he had a new print available ‘the donkey leap’ and as I looked at it, something stirred in me and I found myself crying. It made me cry every time I looked at it. I took it as a sign that I needed to have this piece of art on my wall to remind me to be brave – something I have never felt. And so 2024 became my year of trying to be braver.

My first act of bravery was signing up to join a group walking the North Wales Pilgrims Way in May. I can find groups of people quite scary so whilst this might not seem like an act of bravery, to me this was HUGE! There were many times when I nearly talked myself out of going, but I kept looking at the donkey leaping off a tall cliff and knew that I wanted to leap too. And it was probably one of the most life-affecting things I have done.

It wasn’t all positive, but joining this walk changed me in so many ways. I remembered that I was physically strong again (after three rounds of surgery for breast cancer between 2020-23) and that it was ok to just be me. I met two people on the walk who have both touched my heart in very profound ways – thank you Ben & Jane. I was reminded to look for joy and play in everyday moments. I fell in love with North Wales & know it will feature in my future. I fell in love with my doggo too! Not that I didn’t love him already, but he was such an incredible pilgrim-dog and I’m so glad I got to share those weeks with him, especially since he’s no longer here.

After Wales, I realised that although I felt physically strong again, I didn’t like my body very much (I guess surgery will do that to you?!). I booked some one-to-one Pilates reformer sessions with a local Physio. To begin with, I cried in every session because this type of precise movement showed me how far removed from my body I was. I wasn’t comfortable noticing how I felt about myself, but Lindsay’s patient, gentle and kind approach helped me through it. I think she is a brilliant Physiotherapist but more than that she is a lovely human-being and I never felt judged. I feel a (totally needless) shame around my breast cancer diagnosis and my body was carrying that every day. Working with Lindsay helped to release some of that load and put me back inside my body. I don’t know if that makes sense but it’s how I feel! I won’t add her details here, but please let me know if you’d like to contact Lindsay – I highly recommend and feel truly grateful to her.

The rest of 2024 brought another pilgrimage in Wales, late summer, just me and the dog this time, with Covid for company (unknown at the time!) So then there was a long recovery, a burst water-main, some personal sadness and one final push to become qualified as a Lowland Walk Leader just before Christmas.

What a year!

Was I brave? Sometimes, maybe.

Did I grow? Yes – massively.

What am I grateful for?

  • people (I’m not good at asking for or receiving support but this year I have felt so supported & I hope you know who you are & how much I appreciate you);
  • my beautiful dog (definitely the best-boy ever);
  • water (I had never noticed how much I take it for granted until it was missing for six weeks – how lucky are we to have access to clean running water and good sanitation??!);
  • time (I have so much time to myself, to use as I wish with no-one needing anything from me and it is both a sadness and a joy, so I choose to focus on the joy it offers);
  • another 12 months on this planet (not everyone was that lucky…)

Thank you 2024 for all of it, even the bad/sad/messy bits which serve as a reminder to live a little more and be braver at every opportunity.

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Plans for 2023

New year, new whatever?!

I’m not a huge fan of planning ahead – I quite like to bimble along and see where the road takes me – but I also like to give myself some stepping stones for the way ahead.

By chance I was awake in the middle of the night just as we entered the new year – fireworks woke me up and then my brain switched on! I used the bonus middle-of-the-night time to jot down some thoughts about the brand new year.

I wrote that 2023 is my year for ‘re-braving’.  

The idea came from Jeff Brown who wrote:

“I am re-braving, after a difficult stage that un-braved me. It is my hope that 2023 is an opportunity for all of us to restore ourselves, and to re-brave ourselves. A re-braved humanity will not tolerate anything that obstructs our possibilities. A re-braved humanity will craft the world of profound possibility that is our individual and collective birth-right.”

Whether we read that on a global level (as intended) or an individual level, I think it is a really positive idea to carry forward with us. And even if we only focus on the individual aspects of re-braving, we will surely create a force for good along the way.

Living a half-life:

I also wrote that I didn’t get through breast cancer to only live a half-life. I don’t have a strong picture of what a fuller life would look like but I know that for a few years I’ve been hiding & holding back & stopping myself from feeling, so I’m going to work on that this year.

So in the early hours, with these thoughts as my guiding light, I jotted down some things that I can/will try to include in the coming 12 months.

In no particular order (apart from the first one which is top priority right now!)

Here’s to 2023:

  • rehab my feet – I hate having sore feet because it impacts so many things that I like to do but I’m also not very patient so this might be an interesting battle!
  • walk 1000 miles in 2023, and hopefully also walk 100 miles every month (feet allowing!)
  • take better care of my teeth
  • reconnect with my body – forgive it for having cancer; pay attention to how it feels and what it needs from me; support it with breathwork, sleep, nutrition, kindness; apply moisturizer occasionally!
  • keep taking a photo every day – now on year 8 of doing this! (you can find them here if you’re interested)
  • get a passport because there’s a whole world out there and I’d like to explore more of it
  • cover some more miles on the Pennine Way – maybe another week-long section or perhaps the rest of it (feet allowing!!)
  • journal one line per day (some of them have been quite deep thoughts but one day I simply wrote ‘tired today – that’s all’ – either way I like having a record of my day)
  • take my Mum back to Yorkshire – I don’t know where she wanted her ashes to go but I reckon the highest point in her home county is a pretty good spot, so she’ll be hiking up Whernside with me at some point this year
  • feed myself – books, food, education, music, cinema, art…
  • move house and find a new view

I like to think of all these things as gentle ways to make good use of the year, rather than things which I achieve or fail to achieve. Just a few stepping stones across the river of life. A chance to celebrate being here. An opportunity to be more present.

In the past five years I have lost both my parents, which is obviously significant, but I think the recent death of my Dad has somehow set me free to be who I always meant to be. Not that him being alive stopped me being me, but I no longer see myself reflected in his eyes and I feel lighter as a result.

Perhaps 2023 will be the year that I finally get brave, and step into my body and take up the space that I’m meant to take up…#watchthisspace

How about you? What does 2023 mean for you?