Here’s a few updates and a quick run-down of what lie ahead for September 2023
Female-focused:
My work has been largely female-focused for a while now but I recently decided to make it official!
It doesn’t mean I will never work with men, but my primary goal is to help women move more and feel better, so that is where I will be putting all my attention going forward. From sports & pregnancy massage, to safe & effective online fitness and one-to-one training, everything will be geared towards the specific needs of the female body.
I’m really excited to have this fresh focus as we head into the tail-end of 2023 and beyond…
Professional development:
Recently someone asked me if I like what I do and I have to admit that I gave a pretty non-committal answer because in that moment I was feeling a bit low. But I went away that weekend and kept thinking about the question, and realised that YES I absolutely do like what I do, but I have sometimes felt frustrated by it because I haven’t always structured my work it in a way that allows me time for growth.
And then I had a lightbulb moment!
I realised I needed to get out of my own way…so from now on, Wednesdays* will be my day for professional (and personal) development, where I can study, enjoy my own fitness and create space for my business to evolve.
I have several courses already purchased (some of which I have not even started!) so I am excited to be resuming one of those next week, focusing on fitness for menopausal women.
Watch this space!
(* I’ll still be teaching Pilates on Wednesday evenings at 7pm – it isn’t going anywhere!)
What’s on in August:
You can find all the class descriptions and booking details here
Find details about how Pilates is the perfect class to complement your other activities, and see booking information here
The new term of in-person Pilates classes starts on Friday 8th September, bookable as a block (up to 8th September) or on a week-by-week basis.
Further details about how massage can help to support your body, can be found here
Personal training:
To round off the updates for September, a reminder that I also work with women on a one-to-one basis, offering bespoke fitness programs to help you achieve a specific goal or focus on your individual needs. You can find out more here
Here’s to a brand new month, and a smooth transition into autumn!
Current mood – where did the UK summer go?! & is it really true that people are leaving the excessive heat in Europe to come and holiday in the rain here?? #weirdweather
I’m just back from a two week break – one week in a rainy Peak District and one week working in my garden – and I’m looking forward to easing gently through the rest of the summer. I love August because even though I no longer have school-age children, I still love all the ‘schools-out’ vibes – I can usually squeeze in some long weekends for a bit of impromptu camping & walking; and everyone generally seems a bit more relaxed, less pressured & more carefree (possibly not those of you with small people at home 24/7).
Outside of work, my plans for August mostly involve sitting outside by my fire-pit, finding a bit more stillness in my life. I’m very good at being busy with a garden project, but now it’s done I realise that I need to make time to enjoy the space I have created. As soon as the rain has passed, I’ll be there!
I hope that you also find time for some slow-living this summer. Even if (or especially if) you are busy with family or travel or work, it is so important to gift yourself some time to be, to relish the moment and enjoy the pause.
What might that look like for you? How can you plan in advance to set aside that time?
Here’s what’s on for August, if you’re looking for ways to keep moving
Online fitness for women
We start with ‘week one’ classes on Monday 7th August, running all the way through to ‘week four’ which finishes on 31st August.
Things don’t necessarily feel easier or harder on any particular week (because it really depends on how your body responds to different stimuli) but in general terms week one classes are ‘back to basics’; week two classes tend to involve different timings or a specific body area; week three classes tend to be a bit more dynamic; and week four classes might include more balance work or more intense moves.
Having said all of that, ALL classes are self-paced – meaning that you can push yourself as hard or as little as you like – and I always offer variations so that you can get the best workout for your body. And all classes are low impact – kind to your joints and pelvic floor – because we need workouts that work for us!
40-fit Mondays @ 7pm – it’s always good to get a Monday workout in your week
metabolic fitness Tuesdays @ 7am – a really good start to your day!
functional fitness Fridays @ 7am – a perfect way to start the weekend…
All sessions via zoom – live and recorded so you can fit your fitness into your summer schedule. Find further details here
Please note:
Monday 28th August is a bank holiday but the 40-fit class will run as usual at 7pm
Functional Fitness on Friday 1st September will move to Thursday 31st August – still at 7am
Pilates
Online class Wednesdays @ 7pm – sessions continue throughout August, delivered via zoom so you can join from the comfort of your own home or from your holiday location?! Sessions typically include a mixture of core & back strengthening exercises, movements for mobility and flexibility, and some great glutes strengthening moves. But maybe more important, each class will give you an hour for yourself…
Sessions run as live classes on zoom, but are recorded so you can do it later if you prefer. Details here
In-person Pilates classes are back on Friday 8th September! Fridays @ 9.30am in Kilndown village hall 8th September – 21st October (inc). Booking is now open – details can be found here.
Classes are kept small to give you the best experience whether you are new to Pilates or have practiced before. The venue is beautiful, and easily accessed from neighbouring villages and the A21.
Please let me know if you have any questions at all or would like to buy a trial session to see how you like the class.
Sports & clinical massage for women
I recently had a ‘massage’ from my 5 year-old grand-daughter! She had lined up some soft toys on the shelf on the face cradle which was cute. As she walked around the table she got down on the floor to smile up at me through the hole! She asked me if I ever did that for my clients…you can rest assured that there will be no such surprises during your treatment!!
I offer treatment for:
soft tissue injury or overuse issues
general niggles & chronic conditions such as low back pain, neck & shoulder tension, knee & hip pain
pain conditions in pregnancy (hip/low back pain, shoulder & neck tension can all be relieved safely with pregnancy massage; you will be propped and comfortably supported by as many pillows as you need; this is most definitely the time to look after your changing body!)
post-operative scar tissue
oncology patients (at any stage of your treatment, in consultation with your medical team)
I have a massage treatment room at my home in Cranbrook and offer massage appointments at the following times:
Tuesdays 3pm-9.30pm
Wednesdays 12.30pm-6.30pm
Thursdays 2pm-8.30pm
Appointments can be booked here but please email me to discuss your treatment before booking if you have any questions about how I may be able to support you.
I’m finally set to take a break from work from the middle of the month! In spite of the unexpectedly fast delivery of my passport I am not heading anywhere too far away, but I’m looking forward to a week of walking in the Peak District followed by a week of something else (to be decided!)
However, it’s not holiday-time yet so here’s what is going on with tmf this month.
Online fitness for women
All classes are running as usual up to and including Friday 14th July:
ALL the online fitness classes are self-paced – meaning that you can push yourself as hard or as little as you like – and I always offer variations so that you can get the best workout for your body.
40-fit Mondays @ 7pm – it’s always good to get a Monday workout in your week
metabolic fitness Tuesdays @ 7am – a really good start to your day!
functional fitness Wednesdays @ 7am – a perfect way to start the weekend…
While I’m away, subscription members will have access to three new pre-recorded classes in the membership area. I will vary the formats a bit so you have something new to enjoy while I’m away. These pre-recorded classes will take the place of your week 3 sessions and week 4 will happen at the start of August once I get back from my break…
Pilates
Online class Wednesdays @ 7pm – this session will run on 5th & 12th July and then have a two week break, resuming Wednesday 2nd August. Details here
Subscription members will be able to access previous recordings in the membership area as usual while I’m away, and will also have access to the three pre-recorded fitness classes too.
In-person classes will be back on Friday 4th September. We meet in the very beautiful Kilndown village hall at 9.30am (term-times only). Booking is now open – details here. If you usually attend these sessions and find yourself missing them over the summer, why not join us on Wednesday evening on zoom instead?
Sports & clinical massage
I offer treatment for soft tissue injury or overuse issues, general niggles & chronic conditions such as low back pain, neck & shoulder tension, knee & hip pain.
I am also certified to offer pregnancy and post-natal massage, work with post-operative scar tissue and provide oncology massage.
I have a massage treatment room at my home in Cranbrook. Massage appointments in July are available on the following dates & times:
Tuesdays 4th & 11th July 3pm-9.30pm
Wednesdays 5th & 12th July 12.30pm-4pm
Thursdays 6th-13th July 1.15pm-8pm
Appointments can be booked here but please email me to discuss your treatment before booking if you have any questions about how I may be able to support you.
( just in case you thought I was being mean by making you work hard)
In pretty much every fitness session I offer, I use an approach of encouraging clients to push and rest. It works equally well in my online fitness for women classes and in my 1:1 personal training sessions because it gives a really effective, time-efficient workout and helps you to build lean muscle and burn fat.
Sometimes I will put together moves which are deliberately challenging, not because I’m nasty, but because I want you to reach the point of needing to rest!
So what does ‘push & rest’ mean?
The idea is to use a weight which is moderately challenging for your body, but still manageable enough so that you can do the work.
In other words, you can perform the movement pattern well, with good technique, but as you keep going you will reach a point where you will need to have a quick rest, before you can continue again with good form.
So you push yourself as hard as you can, with good technique, for as long as you can, and then you rest until you feel ready to go again.
Typically, at the start of an exercise/workout you will be able to keep going for longer, and then as you begin to tire you will maybe have shorter gaps between rests. So if we’re doing four rounds of a circuit, on the first round you might not need to rest very much; on the second round the rests might be more frequent, but quite short; on the third round the rests might be frequent and slightly longer; and by round four they might be a bit more frequent still.
If your dumbbells (DB) are not heavy enough you will be more likely to ‘coast’ through the workout, never really feeling your muscles burn, not feeling that your heart rate is elevated and not actually needing to take a rest. Whilst this might sound (& maybe feel) like a nicer option, it will not deliver such good results for your body. Sometimes we all need an easy workout session, and there’s nothing wrong with taking one, but it’s not the best long-term strategy if you want to build/maintain lean muscle mass, which becomes more important as we get older.
Find out more about this approach to training here
For some exercises, your ideal weight will be heavier than it is for others – eg. you’ll always be able to use heavier DB for a deadlift than you will for a side raise – so you might need a couple of weight options for your workout OR we can use some different training techniques to even things out…
Different ways to train to keep the intensity high:
Hybrid moves –
As well as encouraging you to push and rest, I will usually have you doing ‘complex’ or ‘hybrid’ moves, which involve using several muscle groups or two areas of the body at once – eg. squat & biceps curl or lunge and shoulder press. This helps to make your session very time-efficient and higher intensity because you’ll be packing in more moves in a given time than you would if each move was separate.
Performing hybrid exercises also helps to give you a cardio element to your workout without needing you to add impact to your moves.
Continuous format –
The exercises are also done one after the other, without any defined rest breaks, so that you can keep going at an intensity that suits you, rather than working with the clock. If you feel ok to move on to the next move right away, you do that; if you need a quick breather, you take one. It puts you in control of your workout and makes sure that it is truly self-paced as well as rest-based.
Pace –
We can also vary the speed that you move to vary the intensity of your workout. Generally speaking, if you have lighter DB, you will be more comfortable moving faster, so what you miss in load you gain in repetitions – although heavier would still be more effective overall! On the flip-side, slowing your movements down keeps your muscles under load for longer so sometimes that will give you a better training effect.
Range of movement –
We can also play with the size of our movements for each exercise that we do. Sitting deeper into a squat will obviously give you more work than staying higher up, and so long as it doesn’t cause any joint pain, it might be the most effective option. Sometimes we might change the range of movement by using bottom-half or top-half variations, or mixing up these two options!
What’s the best way to exercise?
With exercise there is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ but it is probably good to vary your workouts as much as possible, to cover all bases and keep on giving your body new challenges.
vary everything – pace, ROM, weight, choice of equipment, length of workout, exercise selection – often
push yourself, but also tune-in to your body so that you can rest when you need to (& know that if you never need to rest, you’re not working hard enough!!)
aim to feel all of these things while you’re working out – feel hot; get out of breath & feel your muscles burning
don’t be afraid to pick up heavier DB – you can always put them down again but you might not need to!!
And if you’re still unclear about what is the best way for you to move your body, always find a suitably qualified trainer and let them help you. This is Archie. He is not a qualified trainer, but he’s happy to help also!
(some thoughts about my breast cancer diagnosis and mastectomy)
I have probably always had wonky boobs – I guess we all do – but they have been more obviously wonky since my breast cancer surgeries in June and July 2020.
May 2020:
When I was diagnosed, during the first lockdown, I went into ‘doing’ mode, doing everything and learning everything to get me out the other side of this cancer experience as fast as possible. I didn’t (allow myself to) feel any emotions about it at the time, because I didn’t want the emotions to get in the way of my recovery.
In hindsight, I realise that it is obviously an extremely emotional thing to go through, possibly even worse to go through alone (& in isolation for 20 weeks), and of course I eventually reached a point where trying to hold all the emotions in check was causing me pain and harm.
November 2022
After having a meltdown when I went for my second follow-up mammogram last year, one of the nurses asked me what was happening for me, and out it all poured, along with all the snot and tears! As a result of that conversation, she referred me to an oncology counsellor and also referred me back to my surgeon to review my reconstruction surgery, and so began the first stage of allowing myself to heal.
I’m not all the way there yet, and I still don’t know why I’m finding it so hard to get through this, but I’m gradually starting to feel like I’m making progress.
The emotional stuff:
The counselling has helped me to feel less traumatised and to process my feelings around my breast cancer diagnosis. The thing that keeps cropping up is a feeling that it was my fault – that I should have done things differently so that I didn’t develop cancer. No matter how much I know on an intellectual level that I didn’t cause my cancer, or let it in, I have struggled with changing the story in my head.
My expectation for myself has always been that I should be invincible and it’s a tough narrative to change! A few weeks ago week my counsellor suggested that I could try using ‘I wish…’ in place of ‘I should…’ so I’m giving that a try and it really helps. As an indication of how far I have progressed, I have ‘written’ versions of this post in my head many times, but it has taken until today to be able to formulate my thoughts and actually write them down. I still don’t know if I’m saying what I meant to say, but it feels like a positive step to be writing anything down so I’ll run with it…
The physical stuff:
The other part of dealing with what’s left after mastectomy, the physical stuff, will take longer but I have started that process this week too.
I had an immediate implant reconstruction after my mastectomy (the only option at the time due to the lockdown), but it is deemed to have failed. They consider two criteria – comfort and symmetry in clothing & sadly mine fails on both! If it was comfortable, I don’t think I would care so much about how it looks, but it is so uncomfortable and that makes me feel really sad about my body. I feel damaged, and I don’t want to feel that way.
The surgery-revision process is a bit convoluted because my surgeon referred me to a different hospital, who are now referring me back to him, and even then I might get referred back! I just want to sit in a room with someone who can give me all my options so that I can make an informed decision, but different people do different things and can only speak about what they can offer.
I truly think it is amazing that there is a choice of surgical options to recreate a missing breast, but none of them feel right for me, and none of us know how any of these things will feel until we’ve taken a huge leap of faith and picked one and had changes made to our body. I don’t want to be flat on one side of my chest but I don’t want to have my tummy cut open either. I think I want to have my other breast removed and be flat on both sides, because it will at least leave me symmetrical, but obviously it’s a huge decision. And I’m exhausted from thinking about it and worrying that I might make the wrong choice. Perhaps it sounds like I’m whinging too much – maybe I am – but I feel how I feel. I know I am lucky to only be worrying about a surgical revision, and not be facing further cancer treatment. But I also know that I can feel lucky and sad both at the same time.
It honestly doesn’t help when a male surgeon repeatedly tells me that lots of women pay to have tummy tuck (which is one of the reconstruction options) as if I should be grateful to be having it for free! He also said that as a woman who has had three children, I probably need one anyway! I don’t, as it happens, and he hadn’t even examined me at this point in the consultation.
And of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with anyone having a tummy tuck, if they want/choose/need one, but I don’t want (or need) one and it feels like such a massive surgery to go through just to pretend that I still have two boobs. And maybe it is still the right thing to do, in spite of how I feel, because it will give me a shape that feels better…
It feels like such a male-dominated conversation, which is weird given that men don’t even have boobs to start with?! I’m definitely going to seek out a female surgeon for my next conversation, because however technically brilliant a male surgeon might be, he can never know what it feels like to have or lose a breast. And the losing part is brutal & and carving up another part of my body doesn’t change that.
On a positive note, the surgeon I saw this week has referred me to a more specialised psychotherapist and maybe that will help me to get my head in a better place so that I am better able to make a decision about further surgery. I hope so!
Moving forwards:
So this week everything has felt really stirred up, like I’m almost back to the beginning (minus the cancer of course, for which I’m incredibly grateful, always). I want to have never been in this place and I want it to be behind me, over and done with, sorted, and not affecting my life in any way…but it doesn’t work that way, and I’m finding it tough.
But also this week, lots of people have listened to me, hugged me, let me cry, and given me space to work through some really big feels and I am so grateful to all of them. I strive to be better at holding it in when I’m working, but for all the times that it has spilled over in the past, and for all the times it spills over in the future, I’m sorry and thank you so much for being there.
As for the wonky boobs, I don’t know yet what the answer is, or when anything will happen, so until anything changes, I’m just going to try not to hate them too much and keep working on the stories in my head.
A final thought:
And one final thought, which is not about me or even specifically about breast cancer.
If you know someone who is going through anything which is big and scary and life-changing, please be open to asking/talking to them about how they feel. Sometimes the hardest thing is trying to hold all the feelings inside because you think everyone expects you to have moved on, or needing to talk about it but feeling bad that you might make them feel uncomfortable.
If you ask and they don’t want to talk, they’ll let you know, but maybe they really need to have you listen.
After a few weeks doing WAY TOO MUCH in the garden every weekend, I’m determined to let things slow down a little bit in June. I had a fabulously ‘slow’ weekend away, staying off-grid in a shepherd’s hut for two nights, and it was just what I needed.
But back to the work stuff, here’s the class timetable and everything you need to know about clinical massage availability for the coming month:
Online fitness for women
The classes gently progress as the month continues. Things don’t necessarily feel easier or harder on any particular week (because it really depends on how your body responds to different stimuli) but in general terms week one classes are ‘back to basics’; week two classes tend to involve different timings or a specific body area; week three classes tend to be a bit more dynamic; and week four classes might include more balance work or more intense moves.
Having said all of that, ALL classes are self-paced – meaning that you can push yourself as hard or as little as you like – and I always offer variations so that you can get the best workout for your body.
40-fit Mondays @ 7pm – it’s always good to get a Monday workout in your week
metabolic fitness Tuesdays @ 7am – a really good start to your day!
functional fitness Wednesdays @ 7am – a perfect way to start the weekend…
Online class Wednesdays @ 7pm – join from the comfort of your own home for core & back strengthening exercises, combined with movements for mobility and flexibility, and some time for yourself
This session runs as a live class on zoom, but it is recorded so you can do it later if you prefer. Details here
In-person classes are back! Fridays @ 9.30am in Kilndown village hall up to (& including 14th July). Booking is now open on a week-by-week basis – details here. This term we are going to focus on core stability and some great trigger point release work.
Sports & clinical massage
Treatment for soft tissue injury or overuse issues, general niggles & chronic conditions such as low back pain, neck & shoulder tension, knee & hip pain. I am also certified to offer pregnancy and post-natal massage, work with post-operative scar tissue and provide oncology massage.
I have a massage treatment room at my home in Cranbrook (see below) and currently offer massage appointments at the following times:
Tuesdays 3pm-9.30pm
Wednesdays 12.30pm-4pm
Thursdays 1.15pm-8pm
I had a bit of a massage room swap this week! We’re now back in my original massage room, where there is more space and beautiful light levels. I can’t wait to welcome you to the new space.
Appointments can be booked here but please email me to discuss your treatment before booking if you have any questions about how I may be able to support you.
Please get in touch if you would like to know more about my classes, one-to-one fitness sessions or clinical massage.
We made it through to the THIRD bank holiday in May! I am loving the abundance of spring right now but will be really glad to get back to some more normal weeks as we slide into June.
Here’s everything you need to know about classes and massage availability for the coming week:
Online fitness for women
40-fit Monday 29th May @ 7am – whole body circuit with a single weight – no need to miss out just because of the bank holiday! Get up and at it early and then the rest of the day is yours to enjoy how you choose
metabolic fitness 30th May @ 7am – a burnout session #IYKYK!!
functional fitness 2nd June @ 7am – 3D movement with some balance/single leg options
Online class Wednesday 31st May @ 7pm – join from the comfort of your own home for core & back strengthening exercises, combined with movements for mobility and flexibility, and some time for yourself
This session runs as a live class on zoom, but it is recorded so you can do it later if you prefer. Details here
In-person classes resume after half term – Fridays @ 9.30am in Kilndown village hall. Booking is now open for the new 6-week term (9th June-14th July inc) – you can book the whole block or on a week-by-week basis – details here
Sports & clinical massage
Treatment for soft tissue injury or overuse issues, general niggles & chronic conditions such as low back pain, neck & shoulder tension, knee & hip pain. I am also certified to offer pregnancy and post-natal massage, work with post-operative scar tissue and provide oncology massage.
Please let me know if you would like to discuss any of the classes, or one-to-one fitness sessions, or to find out more about how massage can help you feel better in your body.
Over the Christmas break I completed my Oncology Massage course with Susan Findlay. The course was so much more than I imagined it would be – more wholesome, more holistic, more client-centred and it reminded me (again) of the importance of touch.
One in two of us will have cancer at some point in our lives, and it felt important for me to learn more about how best to help those affected by it.
A few people have asked me what oncology massage is so I thought I’d write down my thoughts as I begin my journey into this field of work.
What is oncology massage?
“Oncology massage is simply the adaptation of massage techniques with the consideration of the effects of cancer treatment.” ( ‘Oncology Massage – and integrative approach to cancer care’ by Janet Penny & Rebecca L Sturgeon)
Obviously the specifics are all about exactly which considerations need to be made and how best to work as part of a client’s primary care and oncology team.
Oncology massage won’t look the same for everyone.
How does it differ from sports massage?
With sports massage, most clients will come with a specific issue in their body. It might be restricting their movement, preventing them from playing a sport they love, causing pain in everyday life or might be related to an injury. Although I always take a whole-body approach, because everything is connected (obvs!!), the primary goal is to identify and ‘fix’ the area(s) of concern. [In truth, the massage therapist doesn’t ‘fix’ their client, but the work we do helps the client to move more comfortably and with greater awareness, and these improvements resolve the problem over time].
Clients may need 4-6 treatments initially to get them back to a level playing field, and from there they might have maintenance treatments as required. Over time, we might keep coming back to the same areas or change our approach as things within the body evolve. Either way, the goal for most sports massage clients is reduced pain & improved movement.
With oncology massage the focus is much more holistic because there is often nothing to ‘fix’. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t be hugely beneficial!
Oncology massage is about the whole person (rather than their illness) and it is a non-medical interaction which can be hugely important given everything else they may be going through/have been through.
It offers a sense of connection, can improve relaxation & create a feeling of being seen/heard. It can be offered pre-, during and post-cancer treatments. It might be as simple as a hand massage for someone while they are having a chemotherapy treatment, or focus on specific areas of the body following surgery.
What are the potential benefits of oncology massage?
Each oncology massage will be truly unique to the client, taking into account the specifics of their diagnosis, the treatment being undertaken, the stage of their disease, their prognosis, etc. so it is hard to generalise about the benefits.
However, here is a list of potential benefits, that have been observed in research, into the effects of different massage modalities on cancer patients:
relieves muscle soreness related to inactivity or cancer treatments
stimulates lymphatic flow, reduces swelling and lymphedema
increases range of movement and functional movement patterns
promotes relaxation
stimulates the digestive system (improves bowel and kidney function)
improves sleep quality
promotes alertness and mental clarity
reduces pain
reduces symptoms from chemotherapy and radiotherapy
improves rate of recovery from anaesthesia
stimulates wound healing
improves scar tissue elasticity
reduces time in hospital
promotes a greater patient awareness about their body, which may also promote positive body image for the patient and an improved sense of connection with themself
provides reassuring touch
reduces anxiety and depression
offers hope
reduces feelings of isolation
provides a distraction/time-out
improves sense of control about making decisions for their body
Obviously, not everyone having an oncology massage will experience all of these benefits but can you imagine how good even one or two of these would feel when you’re going through possibly the darkest of days?
It’s worth saying that sports massage clients may also experience many of these benefits!
How can I help?
This course reminded me how important a role touch therapy can play for all of us so I will continue to offer sports and clinical massage as I already do. But as a result of my certification, I’m looking forward to being able to broaden my work to include oncology clients.
I think it is so important for us to feel whole, regardless of what we have been through. Inevitably it is the job of our medical team to remove or manage the disease and that is obviously the primary focus, but we are so much more than a damaged part. With oncology massage, perhaps I can be a small part of someone’s healing journey or offer support when healing is not an option.
Where appropriate, I will treat oncology clients from my home treatment room, but I also hope to get involved offering massage in a clinical oncology setting, where I can use my skills to help people when they are facing something that none of us ever want to face.
Please get in contact if you would like to discuss sports or oncology massage with me.
I’m not a huge fan of planning ahead – I quite like to bimble along and see where the road takes me – but I also like to give myself some stepping stones for the way ahead.
By chance I was awake in the middle of the night just as we entered the new year – fireworks woke me up and then my brain switched on! I used the bonus middle-of-the-night time to jot down some thoughts about the brand new year.
“I am re-braving, after a difficult stage that un-braved me. It is my hope that 2023 is an opportunity for all of us to restore ourselves, and to re-brave ourselves. A re-braved humanity will not tolerate anything that obstructs our possibilities. A re-braved humanity will craft the world of profound possibility that is our individual and collective birth-right.”
Whether we read that on a global level (as intended) or an individual level, I think it is a really positive idea to carry forward with us. And even if we only focus on the individual aspects of re-braving, we will surely create a force for good along the way.
Living a half-life:
I also wrote that I didn’t get through breast cancer to only live a half-life. I don’t have a strong picture of what a fuller life would look like but I know that for a few years I’ve been hiding & holding back & stopping myself from feeling, so I’m going to work on that this year.
So in the early hours, with these thoughts as my guiding light, I jotted down some things that I can/will try to include in the coming 12 months.
In no particular order (apart from the first one which is top priority right now!)
Here’s to 2023:
rehab my feet – I hate having sore feet because it impacts so many things that I like to do but I’m also not very patient so this might be an interesting battle!
walk 1000 miles in 2023, and hopefully also walk 100 miles every month (feet allowing!)
take better care of my teeth
reconnect with my body – forgive it for having cancer; pay attention to how it feels and what it needs from me; support it with breathwork, sleep, nutrition, kindness; apply moisturizer occasionally!
keep taking a photo every day – now on year 8 of doing this! (you can find them here if you’re interested)
get a passport because there’s a whole world out there and I’d like to explore more of it
cover some more miles on the Pennine Way – maybe another week-long section or perhaps the rest of it (feet allowing!!)
journal one line per day (some of them have been quite deep thoughts but one day I simply wrote ‘tired today – that’s all’ – either way I like having a record of my day)
take my Mum back to Yorkshire – I don’t know where she wanted her ashes to go but I reckon the highest point in her home county is a pretty good spot, so she’ll be hiking up Whernside with me at some point this year
I like to think of all these things as gentle ways to make good use of the year, rather than things which I achieve or fail to achieve. Just a few stepping stones across the river of life. A chance to celebrate being here. An opportunity to be more present.
In the past five years I have lost both my parents, which is obviously significant, but I think the recent death of my Dad has somehow set me free to be who I always meant to be. Not that him being alive stopped me being me, but I no longer see myself reflected in his eyes and I feel lighter as a result.
Perhaps 2023 will be the year that I finally get brave, and step into my body and take up the space that I’m meant to take up…#watchthisspace
